I told him not to go. I mean, I adviced my long time Polish friend not to visit Montreal. Not this time of the year and definitely not in his beloved clunker the Audi 100, model year 87-88. But he wouldn’t have any of my advice. Not that I have anything against Montreal or the fact that, the guys there take it easy upon themselves when it comes to enjoying their holidays. They are in the old world tradition, while we Torontonians are in a futile race to keep up with our neighbors down south. While I was busy working even on the eve of New Year, my friend was having the time of his life up north or so I thought.

The new year started off well for my friend who took his two teen age sons for skiing in Montreal. Atleast that was his purported visit. Though I have a suspicion that he is again on the lookout for his soulmate(s). Did I tell you about his last visit to Cuba for the same purpose? Well, that can wait. Now just Montreal.

I was working as usual on a Saturday the 5th of Jan 2008, when I received the unexpected SOS ( should I say the much awaited call for assistance) from my friend. “Can you do me a favor?”, was his request and I can sense a mild panic in his voice. “Sure”, I replied and told to myself, “anything but money”. For I don’t have money, even if I have, I am loyal to my wife.

To be frank with you, I was a bit jealous of my friend. Here I am tied to my family, whereas there he is, single and can take his plate anywhere he wants in an all-you-can eat buffet.

“What can I do for you?” was my polite question. A sense of formality has come over me ever since I joined this new job. Incidentally part of my job is to provide tech support to my customers over phone. Matter of fact, at that very moment I received his call on my cell, I was assisting my customer on the other line.

“I need you to call a towing company in Toronto, right away, to tow my car back to Toronto and get back to me ASAP on this”, was his urgent order / request.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Wait a minute, did you say, I should call a towing company in Toronto, to tow your car, all the way back from Montreal to Toronto?”

“Yes, now go and make the call” was his emphatic answer.

Just to save him some trouble and lots of money I asked him a series of questions.

“What happened to your car?”. It wouldn’t start.

“Why can’t you fix your car there itself?”. He couldn’t fix it himself and he couldn’t find any mechanics locally.

I thought it was the weekend and may be he can have it fixed on Monday first thing in the morning. Surely he can find some able hands in Montreal to fix his old Audi.

“So why can’t you hire a towing company locally and push your car to any of the nearby auto repair shops? It will be fixed first thing on Monday” was my next logical suggestion.

“Listen to me you idiot. I am not your customer. Don’t walk me through the steps. Here everything is closed for the holidays and Montreal is open for business only by the 11th or 12th of January. So before it is too late, please call and retain some towing company for my service”

By now I can sense his urgency completely. I called a few local towing companies and explained the situation and was stunned to know even the lowest quote to make a round trip would be $ 1300 Canadian and that too the money has to be paid in full either in cash or certified cheque.

I know for sure that my friend doesn’t carry that kind of money on him and that his credit card would have maxed out by now.

So I told the company that my friend has the money at his home in Toronto and would pay as soon as his car ‘safely’ reaches Toronto. It took a lot of convincing and a bit of tact to engage a towing company that was willing to tow on my word and on the good faith that my friend would deliver.

Or they were sure that someone who is willing to pay more money to tow a car than what it is worth, is a good customer to have.

Last time I heard from my friend was that it was just a clog in the fuel line that caused all the problems and the car was running fine ever since.

Well, goodluck with that.

By the way will this qualify for an entry in the Book of Official Polish jokes? After all my friend is a certified Polish.